My Migraine Pet Peeves

The list of things that people say to me about migraines or about me and my migraines that irritates or angers me is long. Most of the people are well meaning and I'm sure their comments are also in that spirit, blah, blah, blah, blah, BLAH. Whatever the reason it's still irritating and, frankly, still hurts at times.

Here are some of the worst:

"Well you look good". Normally being told you look good is a positive. Who doesn't want to be told they look good, right? The problem is when it comes at the end of a discussion about how my migraines have not improved or about how I'm not feeling so good. Then it sounds and feels like a invalidation, a dismissal of what I've just said. When someone says this to me, I hear "you can't feel too bad because from what I see everything is fine."

"Have you tried..." This kind of question always comes from people I barely know, which makes it all the more irritating. Yeah, I don't need your obvious suggestions. I've been going through this for a long time and my doctors and I will be making the decisions about what I try and when. I've been researching and working on this for years, there is nothing you can suggest that hasn't been tried or at least considered. The last thing I want to do is discuss this long, complicated, hard path I've been on with someone I barely know.

"You just need to..." Yes, if only I did whatever ridiculously simplistic suggestion you just made, then I would feel better. Gosh, if only I had thought of this sooner. I can't believe I've spent the past 7 years in constant pain when all I needed to do was join a gym, or walk more, or any one of the dozens of crazy suggestions folks have made over the years. THIS IS NOT MY FAULT. I have not done something or failed to do something that lead me to my present predicament. This is a neurological disease.

Okay, I'm getting all worked up here so I'm going to stop. Admittedly, it feels good to express how I feel about these "well meaning" comments in a non P/C way. Sometimes I get sick of trying to be so understanding and sympathetic of these people and their motives. Wishing instead they spent more time being more understanding and sympathetic of my situation.

Okay, done venting.